Back to work . . .

So this was my first week back at work. It was interesting. I was worried that I wasn't ready and that I'd be too tired. I was just fine. I work in an office. The heaviest thing I would need to lift is a pack of paper of a stack of car titles (I work for Avis in the title department). Monday was a holiday (a stormy Independence day) so I started back on Tuesday, 7/5/2011.

I was really tired my first day. I was still a little sore in the mid section, but not in any pain. The hardest part was driving my daughter to daycare then driving to work. Sitting in the car and driving was a little uncomfortable. I had to lean my seat back when I'm used to sitting straight up. But it wasn't bad. I wore a light, elastic waist skirt, a loose tank top, and a knit top. Comfy, but did not show my weight loss.

The people in my department suck and are not the cheeriest group of people. Lots of women and attitude. lol. They hate my energetic, cheerful personality. Whatever. LOL. My best friend was there, so I was happy. A few coworkers and other people in the building noticed that I was back and asked some questions and said welcome back. The rest in my department basically ignored me. lol. It's times like that when it sucks to be such a proud person because I wanted them to be like "Oh, it was hell without you" and "we missed you so much, you're the best!". LOL. But this is the real world, and the ones that mattered missed me. I had soooo much to catch up on. I took it easy all day, but I was exhausted by the time I got home.

The second day I wore clothes that fit me a little nicer (but all my clothes are getting really baggy now). That's when people in the building started noticing that I'm losing weight. It felt good. Tuesday, day 2, I snuck on the scale (I only weigh officially on Saturday mornings) and I hit Onederland! I was 199. I'm finally below 200 pounds. It was awesome. My first NSV (non=surgical victory).

The third day I wore my skinny jeans. They were also my "butt jeans". Well, I put them on and they were baggy in the butt and legs. I easily pulled the waist away from me and it went 3 inches out without me really pulling. Before surgery, these jeans fit snug. Now they gave me a saggy butt! It was my second NSV in one week.

Thursday I was feeling even better. I started getting in the groove of work better. I finally was starting to feel more normal at work. It helps that I get up and walk around for a min every hour.

Today started nice and ended crappy. The day dragged really slow, but it was my first day this week that I was felling closer to my energetic self. I wasn't tired and yawning all day. My Sarah and I went to Taco Bell for lunch. I had the inside of a bean and cheese burrito. I ate about 4 really small bites of it, well chewed of course, and was full. It was delicious. It was nice going out for lunch. Later that afternoon my manager asked me to come to her office. She let me know, much to her chagrin, that I would only be getting paid for four days this next check (we get paid bi-weekly and we get paid next Friday). My short term disability was denied because the surgeon's office did not send the required paperwork. Now I have to go through this whole appeal process that can take up to 45 days. It can take that long to be approved and compensated for my pay. Luckily I don't have any bills due this paycheck. I was sooooooooooo pissed. The surgeon was out of office until next week (Tuesday). The insurance lady at his office was out of office. Before the surgery I brought up to the surgeon that I applied for FMLA and short term disability and that they faxed the paperwork to be filled out by him. He told me that he would fill it out after surgery because things can change during surgery and he wanted it to be filled out correctly. He also mentioned that he charges them for him to fill out the paperwork. I don't care about that. I just want it filled out. They actually faxed the paperwork twice.

The office never filled out or sent the papers. It's been almost three weeks since surgery and the short term disability office still has not received the paperwork. So, without the paperwork, my claim was denied. It's a lot more work to appeal. I have to write a letter with the required info. The surgeon's office has to provide all the paperwork on my surgery, including info proof of why I had to be out of work for two weeks. It's such a pain. When they said they'd do the paperwork after surgery, I just believed it. I now realized that it was my own fault. I should have been my own patient advocate and proactively pushed it through. Now I know. You live you learn. I will NOT make that mistake again.

Physically, I'm feeling so much better. I still can't sleep on my side. I can lean to the side for a few minutes now. That's progress. But I can't stay there. I can't wait to be able to sleep on my side again. Maybe then I'll be able to sleep well again. I sucks sleeping on my back every single night. I barely feel sore at all now. Only if I twist to the side to reach for things, if I scrunch my belly, if I reach straight down to pick something up, and if I stretch too much. I am not as tired as I was. I feel pretty normal. I barely feel like I had surgery. What keeps reminding me is that my clothes feel loose, I have to drink all day long, and I can only eat a few bites of food. I still don't feel the least but hungry. Now I do get a little head hunger, but if I stop and listen to my stomach, then I can recognize that I'm not hungry. I just want something because I saw a sign or commercial or heard someone mention it. Then I don't want it anymore.

It's sooooo hard to get all my fluids and protein in. I'm only getting two and a half protein shakes (25-30g of protein  and 8oz of skim milk each) and maybe 6-8 oz of other liquids like water. That's no where near where I need to be. I did better before I went back to work. I need to sip, sip, sip. I get caught up in work and forget to sip. I'm getting tired of protein shakes. I need an insulated shaker cup because I don't want my shakes when they aren't cold. I can't drink them fast enough so they get warm. If I add ice, then they get watery and gross. I'm eating soup more than anything right now. I'm working on some Amy's lentil soup and some creamy broccoli and cheese soup from Panera Bread. I'm also eating babybell light cheese with roasted red pepper hummus. When I get through that, I have a protein northern bean puree in several jars in the freezer. I also still have tuna bites that are in the freezer. I also have a few salmon cakes I made in the freezer. I have more than enough food now. I also have my Fage 0% yogurt and I bought some sugar free jam to mix in it with some unflavored protein powder.

Well, that's my big back to work post. Feel free to comment.

Adios!

-Cat
(Gastric Kitty)

And so it begins . . .

Tuesday I had my pre-op appointment and began my liquid diet. I have lost a total of 14 pounds so far since my first appointment with the surgeon!!!! Basically, I can have three protein drinks a day (they must have less than 7g of carbs and less than 7g of fat). I can drink water all day. I've been drinking water like crazy. I'm drinking 96oz a day.

I can use sugar-free items to flavor like Crystal Light or my fav: Mio.

I can also have one serving of fruit a day. I verified that I can have a serving of V8 low sodium as my fruit if I want something savory. I can also have a tomato as my fruit. NO GARLIC: it's a blood thinner.
I stop my vitamins after today. I don't start them again until a week after surgery. I have to have at least 60 grams of protein and 64 oz of water everyday. NO CAFFEINE. The reason for the liquid diet is to shrink the liver.

The day before surgery I have to drink a whole bottle of Citrate of Magnesium. Then I will have to drink at least 8 oz of water every hour for 4 hours. After that I can only have clear liquids and nothing after midnight before surgery.

It's day three of the liquid diet. The first day sucked. I was starving! It was hard that day. My stomach was grumbling and all I could think about was food. It was more head hunger than anything. It sucked. Day two wasn't quite as bad. I still was hungry all the time, but not as severely. Now on day three, I'm still hungry throughout the day, but only a little here and there. I'm mostly hungry when I think about food or when people talk about it.

For my three daily protein drinks I have been drinking either my: EAS:AdvantEdge Carb Control, Vanilla which has 17g of protein and 3g of carbs; Bariatric Pantry's Cream of Mushroom Soup which has 15g of protein and 6g of carbs (it is delicious!!!! Especially when you're sick of sweet and want a savory protein powder. This is just like other protein powders except you mix it with hot water and it's yummy); and last, Bariatric Pantry Hot Chocolate (this was really good and tasted like regular hot chocolate to me) which has 15g of protein and 3g of carbs. I know that I'm not getting quite enough protein from those so I ordered powdered nonfat milk (Organic Valley Nonfat Dry Milk Powder) to supplement my protein drinks. I should receive it in a day or two. It has 9g of protein, 0g fat, 0g carbs.

I had a little crying spell yesterday. My boyfriend's working a second job, my mom can't come for my surgery, my best friend being stressed out with finding a place (I wish I could help!) and no one really seeming interested in hearing me talk about the surgery for the millionth time. I guess it got me a little down yesterday. I cried and told him I felt all alone and like nobody cares. I know I'm not alone and I know people care, but I still had those feelings and it felt good to cry it out. I felt much better after that cry.

I have plenty of positive things to focus on too. My boyfriend is going to be home with me the two days at the hospital and first day home. My friend April is going to help babysit me during the day the first week. My friend Sarah will visit me in the hospital. My Aunt mentioned she wanted to visit. My dad is taking my daughter for 2 weeks. I'm having weight loss surgery!!! I lost 14 pounds already before the liquid diet. Like I said, plenty of good.

Anyways, enough of my blabber.
Ciao!

-Cat
(Gastric Kitty)

Ooooohhh . . . free stuff!

Sorry, but it's been like FOREVER since I last posted! lol. A lot has been going on. First and foremost: Shelly at The World According to Eggface is giving away 5 free prizes and the first one is a variety pack of Torani Sugar-free Syrups. I want these really bad. They are on my wishlist of things I want post surgery. Of course, *wink*, anything on my wishlist can be bought and shipped right to me. It won't show you my address, but it will ship to me directly and I do accept donations. lol. Anyways, as I was saying - Eggface rocks!!! I love her blog. There is so much useful information and I love her witty humor and attitude. You should check out her blog (if you haven't already - she's kinda a must read for anyone planning on having gastric bypass surgery). Even my surgeon's office lists her in their manual for the surgery and they tell all of us to read her blog. lol

***NEWS UPDATE***
I have a date for my surgery! My surgery will be on June 20. ***jumps up and down screeching and dancing*** I am sooooooo insanely excited. I start my liquid diet on Tuesday. I have my pre-op appointment on  Tuesday at 9am. On Saturday, June 18, I start my clear liquid diet. I will be in the hospital for 2 days. I will be off work for 2 weeks. I go back Tuesday, July 5. I have been having last supper syndrome this week. lol. Naughty, naughty. I had pizza twice this past week. I had super cheesy pasta friday. I had real granola cereal this morning. I had a salmon burger at Fuddruckers today. Okay, that one's not so bad, but I had some fries with it and ice tea with real sugar. lol. I am so hyper now because I'm not used to a lot of real sugar anymore since I went sugar-free. I'm back to my good, healthy eating tomorrow, then liquids after that. I'm not exactly sure what kind of liquids I can have and can't have yet. I do know that I can have 1 serving of fruit a day. I can either eat a piece of fruit or have it in a smoothie. I'm not too worried. I've done a liquid diet for a month before and it wasn't a problem.

Now for the emotional side . . . yay.

I think I'm feeling more emotional than I realize because I have been very snappy lately. I get angry or emotional much quicker than normal. I am very excited, but I am also nervous and a little scared. I guess it's natural to feel that way. I must push that all down pretty deep though because I have to really dig to sort out all the stuff I'm feeling after excitement. I think I am pushing it down to keep my courage high and make it easier to handle this. It reminds me of when I was pregnant with my daughter. Everyone tells you all the horror stories and everything they can to make you freak. I would just push it down and laugh it off and say how excited I was and that I wasn't really nervous or scared. Of course I was nervous and scared. But I realized that if I focus on that then I increased my chance of panicking and freaking out. There's no point in doing that. All that does is stress you out and make things worse.

So instead, I will plaster that brave face and laugh it off and wrap my courage around me like a shield. I am excited. I have been planning and preparing for this for a year now. I have read every article, blog, webpage, etc that I can. I still have a bunch of books I want to read (they're on my wishlist, hint, hint). I have (with the exception of this last week) changed my diet and lifestyle already for the better. I eat sugar-free. I minimized my carbs. I switched to whole grain. I increased my protein. I take all the vitamins that I will need after surgery. I still need to work on the exercising though. After surgery I plan to walk, walk, and walk some more.

I have a support system in place. I know some people will come visit me in the hospital. My dad is taking my daughter for two weeks. A friend of mine is going to "babysit" me during the day my first week home. My boyfriend will take off time to be with me. I'm trying to prepare myself mentally. I know it will be an emotional time. I'm sure I'll have some good cries. But sometimes that just what you need to release some stress and tension. I know that my hormones will be crazy. But I'm ready. I am ready to change my life. I'm ready to take the next big step in taking charge of my life and doing what I need to do for myself for my own happiness and longevity. I am saving my own life here.

This surgery isn't just some "easy way" to lose some weight. It's not easy at all. This is a tool I am using to change my life forever - for the better. I will lose this extra fat. I will become healthy and more fit. I will not let my weight become an obstacle in my life. I will NOT let it stop me from doing what I want to do in my life. I will be able to run around and play more with my daughter. I will be able to do more physical activities. To not be ashamed of the way I look. I will use this to help me be that proud, confident person that is hiding inside of me.

(Is this where I play "I am woman, here me roar"? LOL)

Peace!
Gastric Kitty

Did you miss me?

So let me update you on my recent news and eats. Last week I received a message from my nutritionist that they needed to reschedule my last nutrition appointment. I called first thing in the morning hoping to prevent a delay in my surgery. Luckily for me - she had someone cancel that same morning! So, since it had already been 30 days since my last surgery (as required by my insurance company), she scheduled me for that same morning. I made it there in 20 minutes - right on time! We spoke about my supplements, food, and my thoughts and feelings on surgery. She is excited for me. She thinks that I'm ready. She said that I am obviously taking this seriously, I have already committed to changing my diet before surgery. I'm already taking the vitamins I need for after surgery. And most of all, she thinks that I seem emotionally ready. She told me that she thinks my positive, determined attitude will help get me through those first few rough months. I also found out that I lost 6 pounds. :) Yay!!! Now I know that 6 pounds isn't much when I have to lose just over 100, but it's a start. :)

In food news . . . here are some of my recent eats.

This was absolutely delicious! I used two cans of Rotel chopped tomatoes with green chilies, 2 cups of frozen lima beans, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne, fajita seasoning (otherwise known as my crack - I put in almost everything), 1 cup of low-sodium vegetable broth, and three frozen tilapia filets. I just put it all in the stove and let it simmer until the fish and lima beans were cooked all the way (this would be a great crock pot dish). I was going to make lettuce wraps (which I would recommend) with it. Instead, I put it on flour tortillas with some fat-free cheese. My boyfriend loved it. I loved it. I call it a success. I would make this again in a heart beat - but with lettuce instead of flour tortillas. This is my own recipe out of the old noggin. :)

This was one of my lunches recently. I had a sandwich that included sandwich thins, Tofurkey Oven Roasted Deli Slices, lettuce, tomato, a slice of pepperjack cheese, dijon mustard, and a little mayo. I also had fresh cut watermelon and sugar free pudding.

Let me tell you more about that pudding . . . Mmmm . . . 

I call it my Reese's pudding. I used Jello Sugar-free chocolate pudding. I mixed it with peanut butter, 1% milk, and Reese's Peanut Butter chips. It was great. I think that next time I would like to try using PB2 instead of regular peanut butter and I would like to mix in a chocolate protein powder to "protein it up." 

So that's all for now. I promised my boyfriend that I would get all up close and personal with you all next time. You know, all that emotional weepy stuff that some women *coughs* are prone to. . . ;)

A rant on diabetes . . .

Today a coworker of mine came in feeling very ill. I asked her what was wrong. She told me she ate to much sugar yesterday and now she's paying for it. A few weeks ago she had a doctor appointment and was told that she is a borderline diabetic. Her doctor told her specifically to stay away from fried foods (now this is a girl who will eat most of a KFC bucket by herself), switch to sugar-free items, etc. The same old diabetic rap.

I don't know why so many diabetics that I know don't change their eating habits until they end up in the hospital. A couple of them ended in the hospital before they started changing what they eat. One kept up with it and eats much better and the other doesn't even care anymore and eats whatever.

My coworker now has an appointment to see the doctor and probably get an insulin shot. The other day she got a Slurpee from 711 (a convenience store). Straight up sugar. I tried giving her crystal light but she didn't use it. I told her about splenda or truvia and gave her some packets to try it out. Several people gave her ideas for diet sodas and such. I feel so frustrated because I really want to help her, but I can't. She seems interested when I give her ideas for substitutions and recipes, but I don't think she's really listening or really cares. Another person I know has diabetes as well. He's basically developed the attitude that he'd rather die enjoying life rather than eating crap.

Why does good food have to be crap? Thanks to the internet, cookbooks, and some personal creativity, there is a huge assortment of ideas for eating a healthier, diabetic-friendly diet. There are so many resources out there. The problem is you have to care enough to find them and take the time to take care of yourself.

I know this is coming from the chick who had sugar like crazy yesterday. I know that I do not have diabetes and can't truly understand what it's really like. I really do try to be understanding. I know it's hard. I know diabetics are going to cheat sometimes. That's OK. The point is that you actually try. No half-assed attempt - but really try. Which, of course, I need to do better. I need to try harder. I guess she's motivating me to do better myself.

On that thought, I guess I should go over my food choices today. There were some good, and some bad. I ate a english muffin with an individual Philadelphia strawberry cream cheese for breakfast. They didn't have a light cream cheese. I know that I didn't eat enough protein for breakfast. I know that the cream cheese wasn't the best choice. The english muffin wasn't too bad, but would have been better as whole wheat. I got groceries today so I have healthy food to bring for breakfast now. I took all of my vitamins too.

I had a Light & Fit: Strawberry and Banana yogurt for a snack.Then for lunch, I had a leftover veggie burger cooked in a low-sodium veggie broth based gravy (made from scratch), some basmati rice, and a side salad.  The bad choice was the small heart-shaped red velvet cake I brought with me. I did split it three ways. If I really wanted the cake, I would have been better off with just one bite.

For dinner I had an egg bowl. I got the idea from my new cookbook "HG's 300 under 300: 300 Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Dishes Under 300 calories". My bowl consisted of 1/4 cup of fat-free egg beaters, one Laughing Cow Light Swish Cheese wedge, 1 tbsp of low-fat shredded Kraft Mexican cheese, 1/4 cup of leftover rice, 1/4 cup of veggie burger crumbles and 1/4 cup of chopped, sautéed onions and bell peppers, and some seasoning.

Overall I think I did alright. I'm still trying to make better food choices. First thing I need to do is dump all the Easter candy. It's too much temptation. The second thing I need to do it boil some eggs so that I can bring them to work to eat along with a protein drink (17g protein, 2g carbs) for breakfast. More protein, less carbs, and more veggies. My nutritionist sad that I should eat a whole cup of veggies before I eat anything for lunch and dinner.

Anyways, way more than enough for now.

Cat out. (lol. I know cheesy ending. *shrugs*)

Easter was not good for me this year...

So I'm trying to change my diets and habits before my surgery. I switched to whole wheat, sugar-free products, fat-free products, 1% milk, Unsweetened Almond milk, etc. . . and then there was this weekend. It all started with a surprise birthday party for my friend. There was a special request for me to bring my mac and cheese (the cheesiest and altogether unhealthiest mac n cheese ever). I, being the person that I am, made enough to feed an army. So I have basically been eating mac n cheese for two days: breakfast and lunch. That does not help me at all to develop better food habits.

Then Easter rolls around and we put out an easter basket for my six year old daughter, Jasmine. Of course I eat a bunch of candy with her when she opens it up. I eat even more candy after her easter egg hunt (all the eggs are loaded with candy). Then, to top it off, I make red velvet cupcakes and some miniature heart-shaped cakes. I ate two of them yesterday, two of them today, and half a mini cake.Those are loaded with sugary frosting, sugary decorations, some cupcakes were filled with frosting, and the cakes had a layer of frosting in the middle. All of this equates to sugar, more sugar, and then FAT. I don't know what has been happening to me lately, but the moment I realized that I only have a little more than a month before surgery - I go crazy with food. I found out I actually gained three pounds when I went to my most recent nutritionist appointment. Is this last supper syndrome? lol. I don't know, but I need to stop immediately.

On the up side, I looked up some basic exercises that I can do at home that won't make the floor go bump and piss off my crazy neighbor downstairs. It mostly consists of crunches, arm exercises, resistance tubing, and my pilates ball.

I also bought these cool looking Toning weights. They're from GAIAM: Pilates Total Toning. I got them at Barnes and Noble Bookstore.










I started walking a couple times a week. I want to start walking at least 4 days a week. Luckily for me, I have a very supportive boyfriend who will walk with me and bear with my slow, limpy walk. (I hurt my knees in the Navy - I'm actually a disabled veteran.) Anyways, that's enough for my first blog.

*makes silly face*

Later!

- Cat